you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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