He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
