I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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