i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize