and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
