if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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