The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
