Already got asked if we're dating
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
