guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
