When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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