i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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