One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
