Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
