at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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