His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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