Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
