I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
