I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
