You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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