Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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