We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
