My nipple is on Facebook.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
