Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
