and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
