i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
