i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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