Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
