i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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