yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
