So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
