Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
