From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
