Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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