great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
