i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
