Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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