She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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