We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
