oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
