So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
