good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
