listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
