quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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