i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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