apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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