Having a random hookup so left but love u
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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