my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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