question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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