Will you blow on my dice?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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