they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
