And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My ass is underappreciated
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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