Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize