he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
