she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
