Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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