i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
