why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
