Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
