i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
