I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
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If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
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Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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