woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dear god my vagina.
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