im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
