My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
