I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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