Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize