either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Your cock deserves a montage
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
