you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
