My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
