margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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